Do you know what your love languages are? Your love language is the way you give & receive love that is specific to you. There is a free quiz you can take online to figure this out and I’m telling you it is absolutely phenomenal.
I heard about the 5 Love Languages a few years ago and knew right away that it was going to be really powerful. I’ve taken the quiz a few times and continue to get the same results. I’ve done it for myself, I’ve done it alongside Albert so we could figure out our love languages and I’ve even asked my friends what their love languages are.
While many people take the quiz to improve their romantic relationships, I believe knowing your results can be beneficial for your own self-awareness, for your work relationships, for your family and for all friendships.
Sometimes we learn a certain way of acting or behaving and believe that is the way to act or behave with all people. Have you ever had a boss talk to you like they were your parent? Or had a friendship where you felt like you were giving, giving, giving but never receiving? Have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn’t express how you felt through words but you knew how to do a chore or get a gift to show your gratitude?
These aren’t coincidences – they’re your love language. And once you take the quiz, available to you in the show notes, you’ll be able to navigate all the relationships within your life with more clarity. Today, I’m going to go through each love language, what it means and how this might show up for you in real life relationships.
Words of Affirmation: this love language is when a person uses words to show someone love, affection or positive emotions.
What this looks like in real life: A person who’s love language is Words of Affirmation uses their words more than anything to show or receive love. This would look like a boss saying “you really did a great job” rather than giving you a $50 gift card for meeting your sales goal. This also may look like your partner saying “I love you and you’re such a vital part of my life” rather than taking you on dates or giving you a back massage. One one hand while this may be how someone gives & shows love, it can also be reversed and be the way that someone wants to be given or shown love. So, a person may rather HEAR how much you love them rather than be SHOWN or GIFTED to show those same emotions.
Acts of Service: this love language is the cliché saying “actions speak louder than words.”
What this looks like in real life: Someone who has Acts of Service as their love language wants you to walk the walk rather than talking the talk. This may look like your boss wanting to see you coming in early, staying late & constantly giving her updates about your progress. This to him or her would go leaps and bounds in terms of praise. They want to “see it to believe it.” Or, for a friend, they may value a friendship more when you’re willing to help them clean out their attic, pick them up if their car breaks down or go through a budget with them. And with a partner, they may show love through washing your car, taking out the garbage, or grabbing you your favorite flowers on their way home.
Receiving Gifts: this love language is exactly as it says, it’s about giving and receiving gifts.
What this looks like in real life: Going back to the example before about the boss, if their love language is Receiving Gifts, they may choose to give you that $50 gift card rather than giving you verbal praise. With a friend this may mean that they’ll send you a gift for your birthday but not necessarily show up for your birthday dinner. Or for your partner, maybe they’ll make sure to get you something after every business trip to show you they were thinking about you. Not all gifts have to be expensive obviously but, this is love language is definitely about buying something to show you love or wanting to physically receive something to know you’re thought about.
Quality Time: this love language, as the website states, is all about giving this person your undivided attention.
What this looks like in real life: This love language is really different from the other three I’ve mentioned because it has nothing to do about words, doing anything specific or buying anything at all. This is very much about the amount of time spent together and the level of attention you’re receiving. Are you that person that feels frustrated when your partner or friend won’t get off their phone during your time together? Or maybe you feel better about your boss after you’ve gone to a happy hour or out to lunch with each other? This is what quality time is about. It’s truly about spending time with someone and being fully present. Maybe this is a walk in the park without your phones, a team-outing with coworkers or taking an art class with your Mom.
Physical Touch: this love language is all about touch, obviously.
What this looks like in real life: Now, this doesn’t have to be only about sex. Sure, that can be included here and is important in romantic relationships but that’s not the only way love can be shown. This can be through holding hands, giving or receiving a back massage, being a hugger, a soft touch on the shoulder or a kiss on the cheek from your dad. You know those people who are huggers, right? One of their love languages is probably Physical Touch. Or maybe you have a partner who, after a really long week, just wants a foot rub or for you to play in their hair until they fall asleep. They, too, have a Physical Touch love language.
Now that you’re a bit more familiar with the love languages and how they might show up in real life, you can probably start to understand yourself and the people in your life a bit more. And let’s be clear, the way you receive love may not be the way you should give it to other people. That’s where THEIR love language comes into play. I’m not a huge Physical Touch person but I know Albert is so I know that when we’re walking around, it will mean something to him for me to grab his hand or give him a huge. He also knows that my love language is Quality Time so he takes that into account when we have our weekends together.
Again, this isn’t just for romantic relationships. This can be helpful in a work environment, with family and definitely friends too. Head on over to 5lovelanguages.com to find out your love language and begin improving your relationships from here on out.