56. {Season Finale!} Why Knowing Your Love Language Is A Game Changer

56. {Season Finale!} Why Knowing Your Love Language Is A Game Changer

Do you know what your love languages are? Your love language is the way you give & receive love that is specific to you. There is a free quiz you can take online to figure this out and I’m telling you it is absolutely phenomenal.

I heard about the 5 Love Languages a few years ago and knew right away that it was going to be really powerful. I’ve taken the quiz a few times and continue to get the same results. I’ve done it for myself, I’ve done it alongside Albert so we could figure out our love languages and I’ve even asked my friends what their love languages are.

55. 5 Ways To Deal with A Changing Body

If you listened to last week’s episode then you heard how I am currently learning to love my body while also knowing that it’s going through some changes right now. Robyn Nohling who was on the podcast a few weeks ago said it perfectly “you never arrive” when it comes to your body. As you grow, change, twist and turn so does your body – and with that means that our relationship with our bodies will travel down that same path.

Yet and still, it’s a fact that I have gained a few pounds lately. You may be wondering how I know that I’ve gained weight and it’s from a few places. One way is that a physician told me my weight a few weeks ago at a doctor’s appointment. I used to never think about whether they told me my weight or not but then always became fixed upon the number they told me earlier in the session.

Recently I’ve asked them to not tell me my weight or I simply don’t look down at the scale to see it because I don’t want to go down that slippery slope. But, this physician told my weight before I could ask her not to. So now, I know it based off of what I used to weigh however long ago.

I also know that I’ve gained a few pounds because of how I’m feeling in my clothes. This isn’t to say that where I currently am isn’t where my body SHOULD be or that I’m expecting my body to be at a smaller set point. But, based on the size of clothes I had before, they tend to feel a bit tighter or more snug than they used to feel.

Now again, where I currently am may be where my body is most comfortable. I may always this size, and that’s a realization I’m learning and trying to accept and is a completely different story. But as I continue to navigate my own Intuitive Eating journey I am also learning to navigate my relationship with my body when it ebbs and flows.

For the last month or so I’ve been taking this pretty hard to be honest. If you were a fly on the wall during a few phone conversations with Albert you’d hear how tough it is to accept that your body is a bit larger but then also tell yourself that that’s not a bad thing despite what media has taught you all your life.

It can truly be a big mind fuck, honestly. You’re sad because you’re still using your old thoughts about your body and you’re upset that you’re not at a certain weight or size. And in the same breath you’re angry because there are more important things you could be worried about than your body and it being 5-10lbs larger but you don’t know how to stop thinking about it.

If you’ve ever struggled with your relationship with your body, whether you lost, gained or maintained weight – then you may understand the up & down struggle I’m talking about here.

But, at the end of the day, while this may not be the body I’ve asked for, it is the body I have. And that means I must continue to improve my relationship with my body and care for it throughout it’s changing ways. So here are a few ways I’m looking to do this.


1.     I’m not thinking about it so much: I know this might be like a “well, duh” moment. But again, if you’re working on improving your relationship with your body you know that the thoughts about your body and its size can be all consuming. So when I catch myself down a deep rabbit hole of really nasty & negative thoughts about my body, I turn my thoughts to something else – ANYTHING else! I start to think about my day job, about the really sweet comment Albert gave me, about the last funny thing I read, heard or saw, any upcoming plans I have or something I’ve yet to cross off on my to-do list.

2.     I’m not going through it alone: One thing I can do very well is suffer alone. I am very good at cancelling everything, turning my phone on Do Not Disturb mode and isolating myself. People won’t hear from me for days, weeks, months and they’ll have no idea why. This time, I’m trying to raise the tiniest of red flags to say “I’m struggling and need to talk.” This is really hard for me. I am always there for the people in my life but I rarely lean on them when I need help. So while a tiny motion, it’s personally a huge one.

3.     I’m not wearing clothes that don’t fit well: I’ve been there before, trying to fit into those pants or that shirt that used to fit so well but don’t anymore. How does that make us feel? Terrible, right? Why when we know our bodies have changed do continue to try and make it do something it can’t do. If your foot has grown are you going to be mad that you can’t wear a size 7 anymore? How about flopping around In a size 12? No! You’d go out and buy the right pair of shoes for your feet size. Why can’t we do this with our bodies? I’ll tell you when I figure that out – but for now, I’m just accepting that those pants don’t fit but these do and they look good and I feel great.

4.     I’m redefining what healthy means to me:  Have you stopped to ask yourself what healthy even means to you? I sure haven’t up until now. In the past, healthy always meant a smaller body even if that meant restriction or deprivation – which, we all know sucks! It sucks to be on a diet and feel as though you can’t eat freely, so it’s interesting that that’s what our definition of health is for many of us. But even in this body that I’m learning to accept, I’m redefining what healthy means to me. And so far I’ve come up with healthy means getting 8 hours of sleep every night, taking breaks away from all screens, moving my body in a way that feels fun, mixing up my plate with veggies, carbs, protein, fats & chocolate and drinking a lot of water.

5.     I’m recognizing that I’m a student in this class: There are a lot of blogs out there that talk about how to love your body when it’s changing. Those are the types of blogs I’m reading these days as it helps me feel like I’m not alone. I recognize that I don’t have all the answers and while your relationship with your body is a personal one, maybe someone else has been in your shoes and can shed more light on the journey. Some of my favorite blogs or Instagram accounts are in the show notes and are worth checking out for sure.

 

No matter how you’re coming to this conversation – whether you’re looking to improve your relationship with your body or you already feel pretty good, I think these are steps anyone can use.

I want to take a second and thank you for creating space for me last week on the podcast to share that tiny piece of my story with you. Like I said, sometimes I can isolate and so sharing it on the podcast and letting you in a bit was a bit therapeutic.


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Photo by Alexis Chloe on Unsplash

54. 10 Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

Today's podcast episode is inspired by Jess Lively & Jenna Kutcher. Both of these ladies have done similar podcast episodes and they honestly are my favorites of theirs. I am always a fan of people showing their true colors, being honest & open no matter how scary it can be.

Now it's my turn.

I think when you create a growing platform and you have eyes on you, as much as you want to share it all, you tend to get a little afraid to do so. You become afraid of judgment and sometimes you just want to seem like you have it all together.

Well, if you've been following me for any amount of time you know that glossy isn't my thing. I pride myself on being open and honest with all of you. And, 97% of the time I really am. But there are things that I get afraid to post about, talk about or share and that's just because I'm 100% human. So I thank you today for creating space for me to get really honest with you and share with you 10 things I'm afraid to tell you.


10 Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

1. I have never been happier in my relationship with Albert than I am right now: My relationship is something I've chosen to stay quiet about on all of my platforms. Albert doesn't have social media and so I like to respect his privacy while also keeping something sacred to myself too. But, I have vaguely talked about our struggles in the past. And since I've posted 1-2 photos of us lately I wanted to share how utterly happy I am with him. Our relationship has evolved, grown and blossomed so beautifully over the last few months and I am truly so happy with. He's a good one.

2. I stopped teaching Spinning about 2 months ago and am struggling to find movement again: A few business related things happened at the studio I was teaching at (nothing to do with me) that resulted in cancelling most of the group fitness classes. At this time I was having a bit of back pain and took the cancellation as a sign that I needed a break. But, during this break from teaching I've struggled finding movement again. I've always relied on spinning & now that I don't have that I've felt unmotivated to move in any way. I know that I enjoy activities more than workouts and so I'm looking forward to the weather getting nicer to grab my bike and ride around town.

3. I am still on step 1 of the Intuitive Eating principles: There are 8 IE principles but, I haven't moved past step 1 - let go of diet culture and the pursuit of weight loss. I've lived with a diet mentality for most of my life and so the habits and thought patterns I've had for all these years are tough ones to un-learn. So while I talk to the other parts of IE in blogs or podcasts, my work is still very much involved with step 1.

4. I haven't done events/meet-ups/courses yet because I'm afraid no one will show up: This is a fear I've had for quite some time. I love writing & podcasting but doing an in-person event takes all of this to the next level. And fear can be rude with thoughts like "will anyone show up?" or "does anyone even care?" And so, this is me being honest that sometimes I get a little bit afraid to take the next step with LoDownLiving.

5. I really, really want to be a Mom: This is one part of my life I know for sure - I was meant to be a Mom. I really love kids and kids tend to gravitate towards me too. It's just something I feel deep in my bones; motherhood is for me. And mentally I'm totally ready. I can't wait for this chapter of my life should I be so lucky to have it.

6. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get out of debt: Debt repayment is a tough task to take on, I won't sugar coat that. But, no matter how much I have conversations about money, reconfigure my budget or save my money - it still seems like the money never goes away. So while I know this is a fearful thought (hence - things I'm afraid to tell you) and isn't rooted in truth, sometimes it still creeps in my mind.

7. I still have days where I struggle with my weight gain: Releasing diet culture is really hard. And I'm in the process of un-learning a lot of things I've read and learned while being involved in a diet mindset for so long. With that means re-teaching yourself that gaining a few pounds isn't the end of the world. But, when you're new to this mindset, it takes a long time to stick. Some days I don' t think about my body at all and other days I just wish I never picked up a fork. So this is me being honest and saying, sometimes I have difficult body image days still.

8. I think about creating content for the blog and the podcast a lot: At every turn I'm wanting to be immersed in these projects. It's all I think about sometimes. I know I have a story to tell and I know I have lessons to pass on and so I'm always looking at news ways to incorporate them into the blog & podcast. They truly are *passion* projects!

9. Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I'm not certified: There are times when I'm writing or recording a new show and the feeling creeps in. The feeling of "why should anyone listen to ME?!" And sometimes to calm that feeling I start looking for certifications to get - health coach, life coach, yoga teacher, Registered Dietician, etc. Maybe I don't believe my story and experiences are enough? Maybe it's because the world of social media makes everyone look like an expert and I want to stand out? But sometimes, it's true, the fraudy feelings creep in.

10. I still really want to write a book: This has been on my bucket list for at least 5 years now. I want to write a book and really share my story. I don't know if it would be a memoir, a how-to, a picture book - I'm not sure. But I love to write and I love sharing my writing with others. So, while I don't talk about this goal very much, it is still on the list of things I'd like to accomplish in my lifetime.

 

Whoa - can we all take a deep breath in & out?! That was real & raw stuff right there. It's probably one of the most honest podcasts I've ever done. And it took a lot to get the courage to do it. So thank you for holding space for me (and my tears).


53. A Minimalist's Guide To Spending Your Income Tax Refund

It’s income tax season, friends! And, as you know I’m not a financial expert or a tax accountant but, just like everyone else, I file my taxes every year and usually receive a refund.

My refund amount varies – sometimes it’s a couple hundred bucks and I’ve had a couple thousand as well.

In the past, I’ve done different things with the amount I’ve received. But more often than not I spend it on myself buying clothes, a plane ticket or just spending it willy-nilly on dinners, nights out, etc.

Over the last year I’ve made some big shifts in the way I approach my relationship with money. Most of the things I purchase these days are intentional and serve an overall purchase. I take my time before buying and I have no problem returning something that ultimately didn’t feel good after purchasing.

Getting a large chunk of money like a tax refund can create a lot of sensations and emotions inside of you. All of a sudden you have this large sum of money and magically everything you ever wanted seems crucial and most important.

As a self-proclaimed “minimalist” I’d like to spark a little fire inside you to do things differently this time around. So here are 5 ways you could spend your tax refund with intention.

1.     Don’t spend it at all: I know, that’s not very exciting, is it? But before you had this amount of money in your bank account…you were doing just fine. All of those “things” you thought you wanted were either on the back burner or being saved up for anyway. Don’t blow everything you have on things you just “want” and don’t actually “need”.

2.     Use it for a fixer-upper project: Is there something around your home that continues to break down and not work properly? Maybe you need a new energy-saving washer & dryer, new windows or an alarm system. These types of purchases will enhance your life in the long run and are good purchases to make if you NEED them.

3.     Throw it into your 401k: I don’t know exactly how much you’re getting back but, I think this day & age we all could use a little more in our retirement account. While on one hand it’s great to say “I may never make it to retirement, I need to live my life now!” most people do make it to retirement and wish they had taken their 401k account more seriously. This is your chance.

4.     Pay off debt: I almost didn’t include this one as I think it’s a bit of a no-brainer. But I am because there may be that one soul out there that didn’t think of it. If you have consumer debt, credit card, student loan debt – call them up and ask if you can apply an extra amount of money to the actual principle of the loan. Going online and making an extra payment sometimes doesn’t work because oftentimes payments are applied to interest. So this requires you to pick up the phone and actually call but is a great option.

5.     Treat yourself: I do have to include this one because I know how often we are put last on our to-do lists. But, can we have a little bit of intention around this one? What can you do today that will provide you long-term effects? Sure, you can go get a massage and a mani-pedi but those high vibes are short lived. How about going to a retreat where you can create friendships & unplug? What about taking a course in something that can become a hobby or future side hustle? Or maybe upgrading your tools, computer, camera, website so that you can be less frustrated when working & creating? These types of treats feel good but also enhance your life in a positive way and for a longer amount of time than a bunch of clothes, shoes or food ever would.

There are many other ideas to spend your tax refund on, this list isn’t it. But ultimately the decision comes down to intention. Think with your head and not your heart – you’ll gain more clarity that way. What do you actually need vs want? If you buy this “thing” how long will the feelings or results last? Is this purchase for instant gratification?

These questions will get you started and point you in the right direction of intentional spending.

52. Binge Eating Disorder & Intuitive Eating with Robyn Nohling

Today we are talking with Robyn Nohling of The Real Life RD. Robyn is a non-diet dietician and nurse practitioner who helps women find peace with food, accept their natural body size & heal from hormonal issues and period problems. She is a true sweetheart and has a wealth of knowledge that I, personally, have been learning from for the past few months.

Robyn’s real-life attitude about releasing diet culture, understanding the ups and downs of the menstrual cycle and so much more is what makes her so inspirational. When I read her emails, binger her blog posts or watch her Instagram Live’s every Thursday evening, I truly feel like I’m hanging with my BFF.

Let’s all give Robyn an extremely warm welcome to the LoDownLiving conversation.


The LoDown On Robyn

  1. What are two ways you’re keeping things simple in life these days?
  2. What is a guilty pleasure you’re not so afraid to share?
  3. What is the lesson that took you the longest to learn about your relationship with your body?

Interview Questions

  1. Can you explain in layman’s terms what Binge Eating Disorder is?
  2. What is the main distinction between Binge Eating Disorder and just overeating in general?
  3. Is Intuitive Eating the right tool to use to recover from BED?
  4. For some reason, I am seeing BED more openly talked about on social media, in blogs, etc. why do you think that is?
  5. If someone listening is currently struggling with BED, what steps do you suggest they take first to start recovery?

Robyn has some fantastic knowledge & advice to offer. To hear her answers to these questions plus SO much more, tune in to today's episode!


Show Notes

51. 10 Lessons I Learned From Watching Queer Eye

If you’ve been living under a rock then you may no idea what today’s show is really about. A few weeks ago Netflix released the show Queer Eye which is a reality show where 5 gay men go around Atlanta and make over the entire lives of straight men.

This show is the second phase of the show – it was on a few years ago with a different cast but same premise.

If you just type in “queer eye Netflix” into Google you’ll see so many new stories, tweets, & comments about how amazing this show is. And spoiler alert – get a box of tissues because you’ll be crying almost every episode. At least, I sure as hell did.

And again, spoiler alert – if you haven’t seen this show yet, turn me off go binge watch all 8 episodes and come back here to chat. Not that it’s suspenseful in any way but, I’ll be talking about some of the episodes and I really think it’s best if you see it first for yourself and then listen in.

So, you’ve been warned!


10 Lessons I've Learned From Watching Queer Eye

  1. Don’t resist change
  2. Be ALL you
  3. Dig a little deeper into why you are the way you are
  4. Take the time to take care of you
  5. Speaking of self-care, cooking is too.

To hear the other 5 lessons - tune in to today's show!

Whether you plan to watch this show or not, these are all lessons we can hear again. This show is a feel good one and I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll be watching it several times every time I have a bad day, need a little pick me or just want a good laugh.

Check out the show now, on Netflix & prepare to be inspired.

Today's episode is sponsored by CandleLit Box. Get 10% off your first box with the code "lodown10"

The LoDownLiving Blog